Finding the perfect word

The joy and agony of the writing process

This post is an ode to writing. More specifically, to that wondrous feeling of finding the perfect word.

I’ve had this post in my mind for a while. It’s been incredibly hard to write due to the expectation of perfection. How can I write about the beauty of writing without writing beautifully? What is a form factor worthy of my love for this craft, this feeling?

Luckily, I had an epiphany.

I spend an interminable amount of time agonizing over my word choice. It slows me down as I write, but also provides that regular hit of dopamine when I find it. I wade through the thesaurus, pulling the thread of synonym after synonym to find a word with just the right connotation, rhythm, and sound. This process is as natural to me as breathing. It’s a huge reason that I keep coming back to writing. Type, type, type, and an opportunity arises to ponder that next word.

As you may have already noticed, I’m playing around with italics in this post. Each italicized word or phrase is one I rewrote, mulled over, or have appreciation for. As I try to describe my process, I’m providing real time examples of my raw writing mind at work.

On the other end of the line, there are moments where that word is just too far out of reach. My vocabulary might be insufficient or the online thesaurus is too simple to connect my input word to the one I seek. In these cases, I might settle for a plain bread synonym which lacks that flavored connotation I wanted. My heart drops a little each time I settle, but the show must go on.

Sometimes, I suspect that perfect word might not even exist. The temptation to make up a word or misconstrue another is seductive, but my fundamentalist training won’t allow it. If only there was a word like that, I wonder. I can describe its requirements: it must start with this letter. It must have one or three syllables. It must mean this, with a connotation of that. Some Shakespearean part of me wishes to have been born at the time of Shakespeare—before words were as solidified as they are today. But alas, I must make do with the tools at hand. Perhaps for the better, as I would probably spend all my time coming up with new words and no time making sense.

Do you also suffer from this affliction?

Have you learned to ignore the urge to fish out the perfect word or do you dutifully chase its siren song?